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PRANKS. OIL. PROTEST. JOKES BETWEEN NEWLYWEDS.AND ONE HILARIOUS SIEGE OF A MAJOR CORPORATION.Remmy grows up with Beth in Bellhammer Illinois as oil and coal companies rob the land of everything that made it paradise. Under his Grandad he learns how to properly prank his neighbors friends and foes. Beth tries to fix Remmy by taking him to church. Under his Daddy RemmyPRANKS. OIL. PROTEST. JOKES BETWEEN NEWLYWEDS.AND ONE HILARIOUS SIEGE OF A MAJOR CORPORATION.Remmy grows up with Beth in Bellhammer Illinois as oil and coal companies rob the land of everything that made it paradise. Under his Grandad he learns how to properly prank his neighbors friends and foes. Beth tries to fix Remmy by taking him to church. Under his Daddy Remmy starts the Bell Hammer Construction Company which depends on contracts from Texarco Oil. And Beth argues with him about how to build a better business. Together Remmy and Beth start to build a great neighborhood of merry men carpenters: a paradise of smores porch furniture newborn babies and summer trips to Branson where their boys pop the tops of off the neighborhoods two hundred soda bottles. Their witty banter builds a kind of castle among a growing nostalgia.Then one of Jim Johnstones faulty Texarco oil derricks falls down on their house and poisons their neighborhood's well.Poisoned wells escalate to torched dog houses. Torched dog houses escalate to stolen carpentry tools and cancelled contracts. Cancelled contracts escalate to eminent domain. Sick of the attacks from Texaco Oil on his neighborhood Remmy assembles his merry men:We need the world's greatest prank. One grand glorious jest that'll bloody the nose of that tyrant. Besides pranks and jokes don't got no consequences right?PRAISE FOR LANCELOT SCHAUBERT AND BELL HAMMERS ::“BELL HAMMERS is written in a style not unworthy of John Kennedy Toole and William Faulkner – the vivid characterization of Southern ethnography commingled with stark episodic spectacle breathes with the spirit of quintessential Americana. It is a text I would happily assign in an American Novel class and would expect it to yield satisfying discourse alongside works in the canon whether beside the sardonic prose of Mark Twain or the energetically painful narratives of Toni Morrison.”— Dr. Anthony Cirilla“Schauberts words have an immediacy a potency an intimacy that grab the reader by the collar and say ‘Listen this is important! Probing the bones and gristle of humanity Lancelots subjects challenge but also offer insights into redemption if only we will stop and pay attention.”— Erika Robuck national bestselling author of Hemingways Girl“Myth regret the lore of our heritage and the subtle displays of our castes — no one so accurately and imaginatively captures the joys and sorrows of life in the Midwest as Schaubert does here. BELL HAMMERS is a Tree Grows in Brooklyn as told by Gabriel Garcia Marquez if Marquez lived in rural Illinois and only told stories to his grandkids. Seriously a delight to read.”— Colby Williams author of the Axiom Gold Medal winning book Small Town Big Money“Loved BELL HAMMERS because Lancelot wrote about people who dont get written about enough and he did it with humor compassion and heart.”— Brian Slatterly author of Lost Everything and editor of The New Haven Review“Im such a fan of Lancelot Schauberts work. His unique view and his life-wisdom enriches all he does. Were lucky to count him among our contributors.”— Therese Walsh author of The Moon Sisters and Editorial Director of Writer Unboxed“Lancelot Schaubert writes with conviction but without the cliché and bluster of the propaganda that is so common in this age of blogs and tweets. Here is a real practitioner of the craft who has the patience to pay attention. May his tribe increase!”— Jonathan Wilson Hartgrove author of Common Prayer and The Awakening of Hope“Lancelot's attentive thoughtful a bit quirky and innovative. He continues to impress me. He ‘sees and BELL HAMMERS is full of details that enable his audience to see. Bravo Lance.”— Jackina Stark author of Things Worth Remembering and Tender Grace“Schauberts narratives are emotionally stirring with both a vulnerable sensibility and rawness to them. BELL HAMMERS will take you on a journey full of open wounds intimate successes and personal delights. Lancelots words have a calmness a natural ease but the meaning is always commanding and dynamic.”— Natalie Gee Brooklyn Film Festival“BELL HAMMERS is the kind of story that makes you a better person and stays with you long after you put it down.— F.C. Shultz author of The Rose Weapon(less)